A year of watching, I realized
Achievement and character are completely orthogonal
A little person masking insecurities behind credentials
That is what you are
I confused your resume for a soul
Strip all of it, what remains?
During the stormy days, I repeatedly ask myself
Can I fight the upcoming battles with you?
Or are you indeed one of my battles?
Not everything is about you
You said that loud and clear
The moment I chose my goals over your blablabla
Remember the day you almost died choking,
eating selfishly while I starved?
I gave Heimlich,
so today you still see the sun
Swept falling roof above your head,
and walked late into my meeting that mattered
Rushed to bring comfort to your home,
when you burned yourself out
I am so glad
I owe you nothing
because everything was 50:50
Thanks to 20% of my tiny monthly salary
My real definition of a learning cost
You are right
Everything was never about me
So I stopped making it
After a while
I could smell NPD in the air
Your guilt always wore my name
Every complaint was turned into my fault
Every fact, every word, twisted
I’m in awe!
What an economy of mind
Text me anytime your trained model needs data to run a better response
Your raw nature is well-documented
You can keep echoing the personality chamber
You are in love, addicted, embedded with it
Because you never have the self-confidence to act
without an AI-whisperer
Whole years of therapy await you
Say the truth and show your true colors to the doctors
They will give it the proper name
Also, some random pills you’d love to digest
So the anxious hypochondriac inside can finally sleep
I thank my gut cells for the right call
Always trust them because they never betray
My whole body and soul helped me stand tall
Sorry, you can not relate; even your guts despise you
You know
My entire DNA has been screaming to save me
Autoimmune flares frequently along the year
Newsflash! It never came again after goodbye
I hope your emotionally stunted brain learned a thing or two
At least, how to handle rejection with dignity
Stop the pathetic attention seeking and go away
Your miserable attempts to drag me down endorsed my decision that evening
My prayer goes to all of your history,
who have been damaged unconsciously
People you labeled crazy
They didn’t get there by themselves, did they?
Hope they can heal and fly high
Far enough from your limp dick 👋
_____
Jakarta
3/4/26
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